Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
