Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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