Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
