I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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