Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
