laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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