Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Damn victory sex feels great
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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