she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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