I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
