Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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