My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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