He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
