Apparently you make a good broom.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
