I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
