i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
