11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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