do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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