she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
