The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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