The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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