Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
