were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize