I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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