Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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