I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
