How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
