the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
