My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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