Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
