I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
