Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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