I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
