I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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