How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
