Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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