3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We need to rekindle our bromance
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
