i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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