I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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