i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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