Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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