David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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