READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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