HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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