You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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