I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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