is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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