Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
