The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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