dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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