Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
NoShamevember. You game?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
