high people should be assigned attendants
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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