She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
