When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize