She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
