i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
