do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
