If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
