Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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